I’ve been growing my hair, or should I say I’ve been growing some of my hair (not the hair on my head although I am well overdue a trip to the barbers!) I’m talking about leg hair and underarm hair. It’s weird that I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a while now but haven’t because I was too embarrassed to talk about my body hair. Which considering some of the things I’ve written about here just does not make any sense. Why be embarrassed? It’s one of those things, a body issue I guess that I have never quite got my head round (I have other body issues which I may get to at a later date). I’ve shaved my legs and underarms for years because that’s what girls did, even dyke girls or at least the ones I knew. I’ve never liked doing it (or been very good at it) but I did it and kept doing it until recently when (again thankfully with the encouragement of my beautiful wife) I stopped. I wasn’t sure at first so I’ve been getting used to it, seeing if it fit and it does because I have no desire to whip out a razor and get rid of it.
That said I have been thinking about what happens in the summer, having hairy legs and underarms in the winter is easy because it’s covered. Now I know in my logical head that a) most people won’t give a shit if they catch a glimpse of my hair and b) even if they did it’s got sod all to do with them. But years of conditioning doesn’t change that easily. I’m not too worried about my legs because I very rarely (and I mean VERY) rarely show my legs, I’m not a shorts kind of boi. But I do like to wear vests in hot weather. My underarm hair did grow quite long, or it seemed long to me and it did this weird mohawk thing so I wasn’t as happy with it as I could have been. (I don’t have anything against Mohawks, I’ve even had one on my head but under my arms just wasn’t right) My beautiful wife (because she’s wonderful) bought me a beard trimmer with an attachment that’s perfect for trimming down the underarm mohawk. The result is I now have underarm hair that I like and I can keep it styled to my satisfaction so I think come the summer I’ll be happy to not shave but trim instead.
So while I’m on the subject of hair and shaving I may as well shove the embarrassment right down and discuss facial hair. I have for most of my adult life had a fair amount of hair on my top lip and hated the fact that it was there. I’m not growing hair there now but I am dealing with it in a different and more positive way. I shaved it for a long time, secretly, in the shower without looking in a mirror and without it being discussed with anyone else. Eventually we discussed it and came to the conclusion that waxing would last longer so I would periodically submit to having my top lip waxed to remove the hair. That was a step forward because at least I was admitting it existed even if it was only to my beautiful wife. Then as I was in the process of accepting and growing my leg and underarm hair, the idea formed in my head that actually I might like to try shaving my lip again. So I did. But this time I stood in front of the mirror and wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed. Now I shave every day, its part of my morning routine and something I want to experiment with more, maybe a wet shave with a cutthroat one day.
I love that feeling of owning my own hair and making decisions about what to do with it based on how I feel in my gut rather than what I’ve been conditioned to do. I also know that sub-consciously and gradually I’m working through some other body issues that I’ve had for as long as I can remember, it’s all part of the same process. And now I’ve said all that it doesn’t feel quite as embarrassing as it once did!
Friday, 6 February 2009
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11 comments:
I have this odd thing about hair anyone except on my head. I keep everything smooth just because I seem to have some sort of phobia about it. I wish that I could be more accepting of it. I just hate the feel of hair anyone except on the old (and I mean that literally) noggin.
funny what a big deal this one is. i always hated shaving my legs/armpits and was sporadic at best. now i've almost forgotten it was ever an issue, and i have to say, it's a big relief. also i rather like my fuzzy legs.
i also generally hate shorts. but from my experience, when you wear them and/or swimming stuff: some people will look at you funny. but hey, they do that to us every day anyway, right? ;)
i should clarify, i mean it's funny what a big deal it is for most, if not all of us. i didn't mean you were peculiar.
My wife doesn't shave. I think she did her legs twice in her life and decided she was done with it. She also wears shorts ALL THE TIME. Literally. The last time she had pants on was when we got married in June.
Personally, I have a hard time believing anyone would look at the legs of a butch woman and expect them to be smooth and silky, but that could be my conditioning.
Also, so that you know, I've known (heterosexual) men who shaved their armpits regularly because they found them less sweaty and smelly and "gross" (their term) that way.
The last thing I have to say on the subject (yes, I'm shutting up soon, promise), is that, personally, I only shave my legs or armpits when they're liable to be seen by the general public. My wife likes the clean shaven thing, but isn't particularly concerned if it doesn't get done often.
And it's not like it doesn't already take me entirely too long in the shower, anyway. ;)
I shaved when I was younger, and I gave up on it in 2002. My ex actually asked me to stop, because the stubble on my legs would destroy her skin. I just don't even think about it anymore.
It is weird that it's such a big deal, though. I wear shorts in the summer, and I'll catch a few looks, but I just think 'fuck em'. Since you're British, you may variate and think 'sod em'. :)
As far as my face goes, not only do I have hair on my lip, I also have sideburns, and a goatee. It grows a little slow, so every other day works fine. It stared coming in at puberty, and I used to pluck the whiskers. That sucked. Now I shave in front of the mirror, with a nice razor so I don't cut myself. Try explaining that one!
Re the shorts thing to these lovely commentators - I have seen H on the beach in midsummer (while I am baking in a bikini) insist that hy is perfectly cool in combat pants and boots...........love you H ;-) x x x
fimg: i'm sure holden is *always* cool. seriously, i'm laughing. i've done the exact same thing. jeans/boots/socks in weather well over 80F, on the beach even. (in celsius, that's like, hot as heck.)
........now Leo, why am I not surprised by that at all? :-) fimg xx
FIMG- I never wore shorts..I grew up in Alaska. It was HOT like six days of the year, but when an Alaskan moves to Georgia? I was naked and panting in front of the air vent for the first six months. I just bought a few pairs from the Gap to wear in extreme situations. I used to visit my in-laws in Miami, and we'd go to the Keys...that's when I started wearing Hawaiian style board shorts and a tank.
Trust me, it's out of character for me too... But the polar bear was dying. I even remember wearing jeans when I was in France...Ménton is on the Med, and I refused shorts! LOL
Don't know if you'd be interested or not, but I've done some writing on this from my own perspective. I also have a few photos sharing my hair. Feel free to drop on by and have a read.
Lucy
I have a hair fetish. I LOVE natural hair, hairy men, hairy underarms on women, touchable hair, a hairy chest, stubble.... I get all bent out of shape when I hear about someone shaving their chest or waxing.
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