My Intention

I stand at the end of the bed looking down at you, admiring you, all of you. You’re lying face down on the bed, naked except for the various black leather restraints I’ve used to secure you firmly to the bed. Your hair is up so I can see your shoulders and neck, your face is turned to the side so your left cheek is resting on the bed. Momentarily I’m filled with the desire to gently stroke your cheek but it’s suppressed by the need to fill my mind with the sight of you.

I let my eyes roam down your naked body. The cuffs around your wrists are fastened by short chains to the corners of the bed pulling your arms over and to the side of your head. I can see that the muscles in your shoulders aren’t tense but they not yet relaxed. My eyes trace your spine to where the heavy belt is buckled around your waist. I love the contrast of your naked torso against the crisp white sheet split by the wide band of black. Attached to the two silver loops on each side of the belt are straps which run to the hooks on each side of the bed. I’ve pulled them tight so you can’t lift your hips.

Just below your bottom, midway between it and your knees, is another belt. It’s pulled tight around your thighs, the buckle resting in the space where the backs of your thighs curve round to meet your soft inner thighs. The two belts frame your bottom, highlight the area which will, soon, become the focus of my, and your, sole attention. Below your knees, around your calves is a third belt, again fastened tightly. This is the belt I’ve just taken off my trousers, the belt I use everyday. I’m very happy with its new, improved function. Finally I let my eyes rest at your ankles, they are cuffed together tightly by the larger twins of those round your wrists and held to the bed by another short chain.

It was my intention and my desire to make you comfortable. It was my intention and my desire to allow you as little movement as possible. I don’t want you to be able to lift your hips, bottom, thighs or ankles. I don’t want you to be able to open your legs, not even a little. I want you to be focused on the sensations your are about to feel, completely focused. And so you are also blindfolded.

I move to your left side, lean over and whisper in your ear that I love you, stroke your cheek gently and kiss it. Then I turn my attention the various items I’ve lifted out of my “toy” box ready. The oil, the feather switch, the black leather gloves, and my flogger. I move them all to where they’ll be within easy reach. I kneel on the bed next to you, level with the area I will focus all my attention on, the area framed by the two belts, your bottom and upper thighs. I can see and feel the expectation in your body. It’s time to start building sensations, layering them one on top of the other until they’re ready to come crashing down.

I start slowly by running my finger tips over your bottom and upper thighs, gently, barely making contact with your skin. Then I use my whole hands to stroke you and lightly squeeze your cheeks. I take my time building pressure slowly until my touch is firm and I can see you are starting to relax into the experience. Then I stop, pick up the switch and run it along the waist belt where it meets your skin. Moving from left to right, then down your side to the point where the thigh belt meets your skin, across your thighs and back up your left side to where I started. Then I use long strokes to cover every inch of your bottom and upper thighs. I spend some time tracing patterns and slapping it against your cheeks and thighs. All the time I can see your body becoming more relaxed, flowing into the experience.

When I’ve finished with the switch I pick up the oil, pouring some into the palm of my hand. I hold it over the small of your back and allow the oil to trickle down, where it makes a small puddle. You start slightly, surprised by the oil, but then relax again as I begin to massage it into your skin. Again I start gently but slowly increase pressure until I’m kneading the oil into your cheeks and thighs. I lean over and ask if you are ok, stroke your face and then return to my previous position. I press the whole of my palm onto your left cheek, pause, pull it back and slap. I repeat this on your right cheek and then again in the centre of your bottom.

I spank you slowly and gently to start with on both thighs and cheeks, varying where the slaps fall, covering the whole area. I can sense that you are becoming more focused on the feeling, falling deeper into the sensations. Before I increase the intensity of the spanking I put on the leather gloves letting you feel them first by trailing them over your lower back. Then I resume, this time with increased force, hitting once or twice or three times in the same spot before moving on. Using my left hand to pull your skin taught before striking a particular spot. I like the feel of the leather on my hands and the sound its makes as it strikes you. I know that by now your cunt will be getting wet, that my spanking is turning you on.

When I’m satisfied you are completely focused on the feelings and sensations the spanking is giving you I pick up my flogger and stand up. I move to stroke your face and kiss your cheek again before raising my arm and using my flogger for the first time. I deliver several blows from the right, then several from the left. You are trying to lift your bottom to meet the blows but the restraints aren’t allowing you to move. I continue to use my flogger from both sides of the bed, building the force at the same time as increasing your desire. I only stop when you are moaning, trying to raise your hips and open your legs.

It was my intention and my desire to focus all sensations in the area that is framed by the two belts at your waist and thighs. It was my intention and my desire to make your cunt as wet as possible. I don’t want to let any of that wonderful wetness escape. I don’t want you have any release from your desire until I’m ready. I want you to be focused on what I’m about to do, completely focused. And so I’ll leave you blindfolded.

You are very visibly aroused now, I can see it in the way your body tries to move. Your moans reveal how wet your cunt is, how desperate you are to be touched, fucked, to come. I unclip your wrist and ankle cuffs, unbuckle the waist belt and remove it altogether. I tell you I’m going to remove the other belts but that I don’t want you to open your legs. I undo the belts and then tell you to roll over keeping your legs together. Once you are lying on your back I refasten your arms, I kiss you and make sure you are comfortable then tell you that I want you to open your legs as far as you can. I fasten your ankles to the straps at the bottom corners of the bed.

This is the moment I’ve been building us both up to. You’re wet and open before me. The focus of attention on your bottom and upper thighs has worked, the touching and spanking have made you wet, very wet. Your wetness has been unable to escape because your legs were so tightly bound together and now I can see how wet your are. I kneel on the very edge of the bed between your legs and lower myself down so my face is very close to your cunt. I put my hands on your inner thighs to make sure your legs stay firmly open and very deliberately lick the full length of your cunt.

You taste like heaven. And you moan loudly. I tease your clit with my tongue using soft and quick movements mixed with slow and hard ones. I lick your whole cunt, tasting you everywhere, drink in your wetness. Then I slip my fingers inside you, slowly and gently but as far as I can. I start to fuck you with my fingers still licking and teasing your clit, loving every stroke, every thrust. I know you are ready to come, that it won’t take long and it doesn’t. Suddenly you are there, cresting and falling over the edge and I can taste you and feel you contract around my fingers.

It was my intention and my desire to build sensations that would turn you on but allow you no release. It was my intention and my desire to keep your wetness locked in your cunt. I wanted that wetness for myself. I wanted to taste your need and swallow it down. I wanted you to come in my mouth. I got what I wanted.

The weekend

It’s been quite a weekend of exploration and new experiences, one that has raised many questions and ideas some of which I’d like to (try) and express here. My beautiful wife and I have this weekend experimented some more with power play including some bondage and spanking. We have had an extremely enjoyable, fun and expressive weekend where the sexual energy between us has become electric.

However as I’m still very new to accepting my butchness and my cock and as topping is newer still there are issues that I need to figure out or find some acceptable (if not necessarily 100% correct) answers to. Why do I get such a kick out of being in control? Why does the sight of my beautiful wife tied and powerless turn me on so much? Why do I want to tell/order/command her to strip/be open for me/come? Where does the desire to spank her come from?

For someone who has spent the vast majority of their adult life trying to keep the peace or avoid confrontation these new feelings and desires are quite mind-blowing. But what I don’t want to do, what I can’t allow myself to do is box how I feel. I have to confront where and who I am.

To begin with I hope that I’ve made it quite clear in previous posts that I utterly adore my beautiful wife, and I mean “worshipping the ground that she walks on” kind of adore. She is my soul mate and I have no doubt that we will grow old (dis)gracefully together. I also want to make it quite clear that I have the utmost respect for her, would rather die than hurt her either emotionally or physically. I know I have her permission to top her and I value that gift more than any other she has or could give me because it is given with such trust. I think love often comes much more easily than trust so to have enough trust in someone to allow them to be so much in control when you are potentially at your most vulnerable is certainly one of the most precious gifts anyone can give or receive.

And I get off on the power, big time. But why?

Perhaps it is because for such a lot of my life (prior to meeting my beautiful wife) I have felt that I wasn’t in control and felt incapable of taking it that the gift of control is so precious to me. The desire to not abuse that gift, to treasure and keep it safe may go a long way to me wanting to rise to the occasion. When I think back over the years we’ve been together she has been encouraging my control in our everyday life since we first met whether consciously or sub-consciously. She has always encouraged me to make decisions, shown respect for my opinions, made space for me to be heard so taking sexual control now is perhaps not such a huge leap. I’m not sure if my previous lack of control is part of this or not, if it is I doubt it’s the whole story.

Maybe (my beautiful wife says there’s no maybe about it) there is something in my make up that has always wanted to be in control and just like the discovery of my cock it was waiting for the right time and place (and femme) to make an appearance. Just like the discovery of my cock it feels right, feels like I’m in absolutely the right place, feels perfectly (and surprisingly) natural.

After the first time I spanked my beautiful wife she said that it made her feel nurtured. Is that what I’m doing, nurturing her? Everything I do is founded absolutely in love so maybe this isn’t so far from the truth. I want to protect her from harm, would keep all hurt away from her if I could, so is topping her an extreme form of this? Perhaps if she has no choice, no responsibility, no power then it becomes mine and therefore I’m protecting her from the hurt brought by those things. I can see that in certain situations removing choice, power, and responsibility can be comforting. Like when you’re feeling ill and all you want is for someone to hug you, send you to bed and bring you hot soup. I have to admit that the idea of nurturing her appeals to me the most, it is what I want to do, how I want her to feel, in all aspects of our lives not just sexually.

I suspect that I may never work out the complete whys and wherefores of what is going on between us and that the dynamics will shift and switch in subtle ways as the years go by. I do feel that as I’ve accepted the precious gift of control my beautiful wife has given me I need to take the responsibility very seriously. So what I have worked out, in a rough form, over the past few days are a few (personal) ground rules which I’ll outline in first draft here to be revisited and revised periodically.

In no particular order (as I think they are of equal importance)

Communicate – By talking through or writing about the things we both want/need/are afraid of we have a much clearer idea of whether we’re both in the same place. From my own personal point of view writing about my fantasies is fine tuning them in my head. This allows me to present my beautiful wife (who sees everything I write before anyone else) with a clear scenario that she can accept or decline.

Prepare – It’s helping me a great deal to have some time to think or walk through a particular fantasy before putting it into practice. If I’m clear about what I want and know how I want events to unfold then I can communicate this much better when we’re in the middle of the experience.

Surprise – While we are talking generally about what we both want to happen for me part of the attraction of topping is proving to be the surprise element. I want to know that my beautiful wife will find my ideas exciting and appealing but I don’t want her to know when I might put those ideas into practice. In the same way if there’s something she’s mentioned that she would like to happen then it will but I have no intention of telling her when.

Strive to do better – I want to continually improve, at the minute this is easy because I’m so new to being in control that I’m growing in confidence daily. But I don’t want to become complacent, now we’ve embarked on this path I would like for us to be moving forward and finding new experiences/fantasies that we both enjoy.

As I said these are my own personal ground rules and because I’m in a committed and faithful relationship my beautiful wife is the only person I will ever top so I (we) can focus entirely on how our personal dynamics can enhance our sexual experiences with and for each other. Sex is becoming a vast arena of unexpected erotic pleasure and the power exchange between us is central. I am discovering that I am in my sexual element when I’m in control. Finding that control releases my sexual imagination to the point where I have so many new ideas in my head I can barely keep up with them. It is also releasing my physical sexuality and raising my own sensations, desires and emotions off any previously known scale.

A Vision

I'm working on a post about the weekend's experiences and how I feel about whats going on but in the meantime......


I’m waiting for you in the bedroom, everything is ready. I have my leather cuffs and flogger hanging from my belt, the lube in an easily reached position. I’m nervous but clear headed, I know what I’m going to do. I hear you approaching the door, I open it for you. You’re wearing what I told you to wear, a matching bra and knickers, slightly sheer. Your hair is clipped up as instructed. You look beautiful and sexy, slightly apprehensive but with the hint of a twinkle in your eyes. I pull you towards me and kiss you, tell you I Iove you. I touch my hands to the small of your back and stroke it gently. I hold you for a minute then move away. It is time.

There’s a swivel chair in the corner of the room, I’ve turned it so the back is facing us. “Stand facing the back of the chair with your feet together” I try to keep my voice steady, firm. “Bend over and put your hands on the back of the chair” You do what I tell you creating the shape I want, the position I’ve been imagining. Your arms and upper body creating a shallow upside down V shape, your bottom juts out slightly and your legs are straight, feet together. The straps of your bra divide your back into smaller but gorgeous sections underlined by the top of your knickers, their sheer material offering a tempting hint of flesh.

I run my hands over your back, your sides, the tops of your legs and gently over your tantalising bottom. I position myself at your side so your left leg is between my legs, slipping my left arm under your stomach to support your body. I make sure my cock is close to your leg, I want you to feel it when you lean into me. I run my hand over your back once more then stroke each cheek a little. Holding you like this, feeling the slight weight of your body resting on my arm, makes me feel incredible, strong and protective. You are still, patient. You know what is about to happen and you’ve given me your trust and faith, I won’t let you down. I lean over and tell you “I’m going to spank you now”

My hand is still resting on your right cheek; I move it away, pausing momentarily in the air. I want to savour the moment, want you to anticipate the inevitable contact of my hand on you. “Lean into me if you need to, I won’t let you fall” You relax a little into me as I bring my hand from its resting place in the air down onto your right cheek. A gentle slap but the first contact always feels so amazing. I repeat the movement on your left cheek, again pausing momentarily in the air before my arm falls and my hand slaps against the fabric of your knickers and your cheek beneath.

The next time is a little harder and a little faster, one stroke on each side. Your body tenses slightly on impact but relaxes again almost immediately, almost before the impact is over. I stop to stroke my hands over both of your cheeks, squeezing each gently in turn, spending a little extra time where the material of your knickers meets your flesh. Then I spank you again twice quickly on the left and then twice quickly on the right, a little more force but still not too hard. A small moan escapes your lips, good. I want to hear you moan, want to know the effect my spanking is having on you, want to hear the reassurance of your pleasure.

Again I raise my hand, left, right, left, right then stop. “Stand up” and you do, I turn you to face me, you smile and I kiss your lips gently. “I’m going to remove your underwear now” I place my hands on your side and move them round to your back and up to your bra. Slowly I unhook the fastenings then slide my fingers up to the straps easing them down over your shoulders so your bra begins to fall. Automatically you move your arms to help as I pull the straps over your elbows, forearms and hands. As your bra drops to the floor our eyes lock, I see love and encouragement; I hope I’m sending the same message back.

I unclip a leather cuff from my belt, slip it round your wrist and buckle it. The same again, unclip and buckle round your other wrist. I clip the cuffs together then lift your hands above your head. In this position your arms frame your face and their absence from your sides accentuates your breasts, fills me with the desire to touch them. I raise my hands to yours and stroke, from the tips of your fingers down the outside of your arms to the place at your sides which is level with your breasts. I pause then move my hands across to touch your breasts, squeeze them. Hold your nipples between my fingers and thumbs, roll them slowly until they become hard and I can see the pleasure, the desire in your eyes.

Then I continue down your sides to the top of your knickers. With my palms flat against your hips I tease the fabric of your knickers easing gently round your back. Fingertips first I slip my hands inside them so I can caress both your cheeks. With my hands cupping your buttocks I pull you closer and kiss you, softly then harder, teasing the tip of your tongue with the tip of mine. You respond pressing yourself against me. As I break from the kiss I say “Keep your arms in the air”

I move my hands round to the side of your knickers, grip the fabric at the top and begin to pull them down. I move down with them so I end up kneeling in front of you, mouth level with your cunt so close I can almost taste you. “Step out of your knickers” When you have I throw them to one side, then unclip another cuff from my belt, buckle it around your ankle. Then again, unclip and buckle. I fasten them together, more loosely than your hands so you can move your feet enough to resume your position bent over the chair. And so you will be able to open your legs, grant me access to your clit and cunt, while I’m spanking you. I stand up and step back a little to look at you, trying to imprint this picture firmly in my mind. Like this, naked and cuffed before me, you are wonderfully beautiful, exquisite, a vision which draws out and magnifies my desire to control, to receive your power and return it with mine.

“Bend over the chair again in the position you were before but this time with your legs open as far as the cuffs will allow” When you return to your position I return to mine at your side, arm under you for support, cock pressed against your leg. I raise my hand “The sight of you like this is making my cock hard” I whisper as I bring my hand down onto the middle of your bottom. Twice more I spank you and you moan, a moan mixed between the first and the second contact. Your body leans more into me and you push yourself out slightly, an indication that you want more. I ease my left arm away from you moving my hand over your belly and between your legs. I want my touch to confirm what I sense and feel is happening that my spanking is turning you on. I part your lips with one finger and with one light stroke over your clit, from back to front, get the answer I need. You are wet.

I unclip my flogger, slip it over my wrist and grip the handle. I let it rest low on your back so the many ends tickle your bottom. My left hand is still between your legs, I move it briefly to squirt some lube onto my fingers then return it to its rightful place. I tease your clit a little with soft light strokes. My right hand moves back and my flogger falls on the centre of your bottom for the first time. I repeat these movements a few more times, resting my flogger on your back, teasing your clit, raising and the allowing my flogger to fall in the centre of your bottom. Each time the rest is shorter, I tease your clit harder and my strokes are firmer. Each time you moan a little louder, you lean harder into me and you push your bottom out more to meet the impact.

Then I stop. Hold my left hand still. Let my flogger hang loose from my right wrist. Stroke your back. “You’re doing well. I love it when you moan and push towards me. It turns me on, makes my cock ache to be inside you. But not yet. I think you’d like more” You nod your head. It fascinates me how quiet you become when we’re like this. Amazes me how calm you seem to be. Blows my mind how absolutely you trust me. I start to move my hand again, circling your clit with my fingers and at the same time gripping the handle of my flogger with my right hand.

Deliberately I move my right arm away from you so you don’t know where my flogger is. As I slip my fingers inside you for the first time I strike you again. You moan loudly. Your cunt is wet, slippery and hot as I begin fucking you with my fingers, my thumb pressing and rubbing against your clit. I continue to spank you but with occasional and irregular strokes. I want to mix the sensations of being fucked and spanked, surprise your senses, be totally in control. As I continue I can feel the pressure mounting inside you, your cunt opens more for me, wetter, hotter. You press against my hand, meeting my thrusting fingers. At the same time pushing your bottom out, waiting, wanting the next contact with my flogger.

When I feel the first crest of your orgasm I let the flogger hang from my wrist and I cradle your cheeks with my right hand, thrust into you deeply with my fingers, increase the pressure on your clit. “Come for me. I want to feel you come.” And you do. I feel the contractions in your cunt, the release, the waves. As your orgasm reaches its peak you moan my name and I hold onto you tighter, and whisper “That’s it my angel, my beautiful wife. I love you, adore you”. As your orgasm subsides I move to hold you tightly from behind, circling one arm around your chest and the other around your stomach, kissing your neck and back, telling you how much I love you. I hold you like this until your breathing begins to return to normal, until I sense you recovering, then I whisper in your ear ”Now it’s time for me to fuck you”

Be ready

This weekend you’re mine. I am in control. Be ready.

I will do what I want. If I want to kiss you I will. If I want to touch you I will. If I want to tie you up and blindfold you I will. If I want to spank you I will. If I want to taste you or tease you or lick you I will. If I want to play with your breasts or squeeze your nipples or stroke your clit or slip my fingers inside you I will. If I want to fuck you I will.

You will do what I say. If I tell you to say my name do it. If I tell you to strip do it. If I tell you to touch yourself and moan do it. If I tell you to open your legs do it. If I tell you to be wet or loud or wild do it. If I tell you to jack me off or suck my cock or ride me hard or come do it. If I tell you to fuck me do it.

This weekend you’re mine. I am in control. Be willing.

I will kiss you. I will touch you. I will tie you up and blindfold you. I will spank you. I will taste you and tease you and lick you. I will play with your breasts and squeeze your nipples and stroke your clit and slip my fingers inside you.

You will say my name. You will strip. You will touch yourself and moan. You will open your legs. You will be wet and loud and wild. You will jack me off and suck my cock and ride me hard and come.

I will fuck you. I will fuck you slowly. I will fuck you softly. I will fuck you tenderly and lovingly.

I will fuck you fast. I will fuck you hard. I will fuck you deeply and passionately.

I will fuck you whenever and however I want.

This weekend you’re mine. I am in control and I know you are able.

Boxes

I’ve got boxes in my head. That’s not a song lyric or an unusual disease it’s the way I feel my mind is structured. I separate things out and store them in their own compartments, maybe that’s not unusual, maybe everyone does that, maybe it’s a butch thing. I’d be interested to know.

I’ve got boxes for everything, good memories, bad memories, old memories, new memories. I’ve got happy boxes and sad boxes and grief boxes and funny boxes. If I can’t deal with something (usually bad stuff) I close the box, fasten it down until I can deal with it or until it goes away. Sometimes the lids don’t work very well and things escape from their boxes. If there are too many escapees at one time I get stressed and feel very close to the edge. Then I have to be really firm with getting everything back in the right box.

What I didn’t know for all these years was that right at the back there was a box containing a cocky butch top. Or I did know but some bastard had nailed the lid shut. But not now, the lid is off and smashed, no way its going back on, in fact the box is smashed up too. And that cocky butch top is running riot in my head. She’s opening all kinds of other boxes and letting things out (I think she’s looking for the handcuffs and the whip). She’s mixing things up and sparking all kinds of ideas and scenarios. She’s trying this thing with that thing and making some really interesting creations. Then she’s adding some other things and stirring it all up.

And she’s got a permanent hard on.

She’s cool. I think I’ll let her stay.

You know I will

At least ten minutes before I get home from work I want you to be ready. Dress up for me and for yourself. Feel sexy, feel desirable, feel hot. You are. Get a cold beer for me and a drink for yourself and go to the bedroom. Relax, think about me and wait for me. When you hear the front door stay where you are. I’ll come to you when I’m ready. You won’t have to wait long.

When I come into the bedroom I won’t ask how your day has been, don’t ask me about mine. We’re here for one reason; one purpose so there’ll be no small talk. But I will kiss you and tell you I love you. I’ll want to relax so I’ll take off my boots, get comfortable on the bed and have a drink of beer. When you think I’m comfortable I want you to stand on the rug at the end of the bed. Its your stage. Make sure I can see you, that I have a good view. I want an excellent view. Then.

Strip.

Slowly. Take your time, tease me. Slip straps from your shoulders with intent. Undo buttons and pause. Unzip deliberately. Turn your back on me so I can’t always see what you’re doing. Tantalise me. Surprise me. Excite me. I want to remember every movement you make. Watch every item of clothing as it falls to the floor. Memorise every small exposure of flesh and every inch of your naked skin. Revel in every touch of your hands on your body. Strip to make me want you. Strip to turn me on. Strip to make my cock hard. I want to see you naked before me.

Glorious. Beautiful. Desirable. Hot. Sexy. And mine.

Once you are completely naked I want you to come and kneel in front of me on the bed. I won’t touch you. Don’t touch me. Not yet. I want to see you touch yourself. I want to see you love yourself, watch you enjoy your body the way I do. Play with your gorgeous breasts, squeeze them, tease them. Roll your nipples between your fingers until they’re hard, feel the pleasure of them. Run your hands down your stomach and over your hips. Feel your shape, your beauty, your femaleness. Move your hands between your legs and stroke your soft, silky thighs. Squirt some lube in your hand and slowly rub it around and over your clit.

Make yourself ready for me.

Open your lips with your fingers so I can see every movement, every stroke. Rub and tease and play with your clit. Turn yourself on and turn me on. I want to see you wet. So wet that I can almost taste you. So wet that my mouth goes dry. So wet. I want to be able to see how ready you are. I want you to make me desperate to fuck you. Let me see everything, every touch, every stroke, every pleasure.

But remember it will be my cock that finally makes you come.

When you’re wet enough, when I can see you’re wet enough, when I can see the desire in your face and read the need to be fucked in your eyes, I’ll tell you its time. But I’m not going to help you; I’m not going to undress for you. If you want my cock inside you it’s yours, take it. Undo my belt, unbutton and unzip my trousers, strip them from me. You’ll be able to tell how much I want you, see and feel how hard I’m for you. My cock will be bulging from my boxers, straining to be yours. My clit will be swollen and pulsing. I’ll be wet, very wet, like you.

I will be desperate to fuck you but I still won’t help.

Sit astride me, undo the buttons on my boxers and feel my cock. Take it out, hold it, touch it, squeeze it. Rub lube all over my cock, slowly, feel how hard it is and imagine it inside you, deep inside you. Touch the head of my cock to your clit, stroke your clit with it, softly at first, then harder. Rub your clit down the back of my cock and up, and again, very slowly, slowly. You know I love to see my cock rubbing against your clit. Do it again and again. Then faster and harder. Increase the pace, the rhythm and the pressure. Rub your clit against my cock as hard as you can, as fast as you can. I want to fuck your clit like I need to fuck you.

But do not come.

Move the head of my cock to your sweet, wet, hot core but do not put it inside you. Not yet. Stop. Feel it there ready, hold it and wait. Savour the moment. Feel how ready I am to be inside you. Feel my energy pulsing from deep inside me through my cock. Feel my desire amplified in its hardness. Feel my passion waiting to explode.

When you can’t wait anymore, when all you can think about is having my cock inside you, when your need to be fucked fills your every sense, your entire being, every fibre of your body. Then, it’s time. Then I want you to push yourself onto my cock.

Do it hard and do it fast.

In one swift movement I want to be deep inside you, filling you. I want to see your eyes as I fill you, the slight surprise, the pure pleasure, the completeness. Ride my cock and ride it hard. As hard as you can. Fuck yourself on my cock like I’ll be fucking you. Feel me moving in and out of you, sliding, slipping through your wetness, your openness. Deep inside and out again, deeper, harder, faster. I want to fill you with my cock, my desire, my passion, my love, my adoration.

Come fast and come hard.

I’ll match you.

Every pulse, every wave, every nerve wrenching spasm.

You know I will.

Power Up

So my new cock arrived from America after nearly two weeks of waiting and watching the tracking progress, a couple of dreams about it and lots of excitement and anticipation. It arrived, I unpacked it and have to admit I was surprised at how big it seemed but was impressed with the texture, it is almost like skin, and it feels soft on the outside but has a solid core. I did try it a couple of times before my mother’s visit but didn’t really connect with it until after she had left. Last week my beautiful wife and I had a day to ourselves; we stayed in and put my new cock to the test ….. properly. It was amazing. Two aspects from that day (and since) really stand out for me, the first is the connection I feel with my cock, the second is the power play that went on between us.

My connection is growing and I do think the realistic look and feel of my new cock is helping. It looks right, it matches my skin tone and it feels “real” between my legs. As a physical manifestation it’s working incredibly well for me and it’s continuing to improve and assist my connection. The more I fuck with it the better its gets and the more I want to fuck with it.

Fucking my beautiful wife is even more pleasurable, intense and fabulous than it was before. There are times when I’m inside her that I can feel her muscles squeezing and tensing around my cock. I have tried to work out how that can be, wondered if I’m getting some other clues to what is she is doing. I probably am but those clues on their own wouldn’t make me feel my cock the way I do. At one point during our day of leisure my beautiful wife blindfolded me and then she sucked my cock. This actually increased how much I could feel, I knew what she was doing, could feel her tongue and mouth on my cock. It was real, it is real.

The power play is the other aspect of our sex life which is really coming to the fore. When we had our day of leisure I knew that I had been given permission to be “in charge”, to control events and almost to my surprise I did. I think I’ve mentioned before that I’ve never been particularly dominant in bed but that’s changed/ is changing now. I did take charge and told my beautiful wife what I wanted her to do, what I was going to do to her. At one point I gave the power that she had given to me back to her, telling her she could do or tell me to do whatever she wanted. This interchange of power was a real turn on, I loved being more dominant, being in control, and handing control back.

(As an aside, but something that I find interesting and surprising, the only thing she wasn’t allowed to do was fuck me with my cock. I did say in a previous post that I didn’t mind this, I do mind now, my cock has become totally mine)

Since that day my dominant side has definitely come out to play! I feel released to express a side of me that must have been buried very deeply. It feels right to be in control and my imagination is coming up with all kinds of ideas/scenarios/desires that I would never have dreamed of before but now can’t wait to try out. Some of them we’ve already tried, some we’ve talked about and will try soon, others I’m keeping to myself until the right time.

I don’t feel like I’m pushing any sexual boundaries, I don’t even feel like I’m at the boundary looking over, but I do feel like I’m moving towards the boundary which is certainly the right direction to be going in. I look forward so much to continuing our power play, to being in control, to telling my beautiful wife how and why and when and where I’m going to tease her, tie her, lick her, fuck her. I also look forward to the times when she takes me by surprise and takes her power back and my power with it.