My lovely wife informed me this morning that she’s ordered me a compression vest and when she told me I think I held my breath. I wrote about my wish to try some form of binding here and said that “I want to know how that will feel, how it will make me feel and what it will do for my self image.” I’ve been thinking about it on and off all day, the knowledge that its on it’s way has raised a variety of feelings. Excitement, fear, apprehension, longing; there’s a faint fluttering in the pit of my stomach and a mixture of voices in my head.
Leo described it well in a post about Wanting Too Much. “I felt a familiar back and forth tug in my gut…. a private longing mixed with an even more private warning: you want that too much.”
I waited until this evening before I asked to see a picture of it because that would make it more real and real equals confronting stuff that might be hard. I’ve looked at myself in the mirror several times today (not something I do often, I’m not keen on mirrors), attempted to pull in my chest and imagine what it would look like, what I would look like.
I didn’t feel like that about the arrival of my first cock because I didn’t know how much it would affect me, I was clueless, it was a toy to be used in the bedroom by both of us. The immense change it brought about happened when it was here and by then it was to late to go back. But this time I’m forewarned, I know it could open up a whole host of new, intense feelings. And yes that scares me, and it excites me. I want this and now (thanks to my beautiful wife) I know that I will have the opportunity to explore something else about myself that has been buried for many years. And until it arrives I think I’ll keep holding my breath.
Monday, 20 April 2009
Thursday, 16 April 2009
One morning.....
…when the alarm goes off I won’t tread the stairs to the kitchen to make tea and coffee. Instead I’ll go to the bathroom and strap on my cock before returning silently to the bedroom. I’ll make sure that my beautiful wife is still sleeping and avoiding the memorized creaks of the floor I’ll get back into bed. I’ll move close to her, a breath away and trace a steady line with my finger from her breasts, down her side to her hips. I’ll stroke her thighs softly on the outside carefully progressing inside. If she stirs I’ll tell her it’s ok, I’m here, just sleep a while longer.
I’ll move closer, my chest brushed up against her back and my cock impressed soothingly against her cheeky bottom. I’ll stroke the inside of her thighs a little more and move my hands over her gorgeous breasts, teasing and gently arousing us both. She’ll turn towards me, half asleep but realising in her gradually rousing consciousness what’s on my mind. My hand will move between her legs, caressing, playing, stroking, but barely touching. Then I’ll move to kiss her and her warm breasts, circling my tongue round each delightful nipple encouraging them to alert wakefulness.
I’ll kneel between her legs, squirt lube into my hand and begin to massage around her clit. Dawdling deliberately until that perfect place is wet and willing. I’ll take her hand, kiss it and place it on my cock forever confident that she’ll know what to do, rub its whole length, squeezing and instinctively pleasing in her own expert way. As she fully wakes I’ll taunt her clit with the very tip of my cock and kiss her. I know she’ll be ready for me and I’ll enter her, exquisitely lingering until I’m deep, deep inside.
I’ll move closer, my chest brushed up against her back and my cock impressed soothingly against her cheeky bottom. I’ll stroke the inside of her thighs a little more and move my hands over her gorgeous breasts, teasing and gently arousing us both. She’ll turn towards me, half asleep but realising in her gradually rousing consciousness what’s on my mind. My hand will move between her legs, caressing, playing, stroking, but barely touching. Then I’ll move to kiss her and her warm breasts, circling my tongue round each delightful nipple encouraging them to alert wakefulness.
I’ll kneel between her legs, squirt lube into my hand and begin to massage around her clit. Dawdling deliberately until that perfect place is wet and willing. I’ll take her hand, kiss it and place it on my cock forever confident that she’ll know what to do, rub its whole length, squeezing and instinctively pleasing in her own expert way. As she fully wakes I’ll taunt her clit with the very tip of my cock and kiss her. I know she’ll be ready for me and I’ll enter her, exquisitely lingering until I’m deep, deep inside.
Pleasurists #24
from www.positivevoid.co.uk found via Art or Porn
Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #23? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #25? Submit it here before Sunday April 19th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.
Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.- Gforce Wand Giveaway Deadline: April 14 11:59 pm EST.
- CrashPadSeries.com Contest! Deadline: April 22, 2009
- My First Sex Toy Contest! Deadline: 11:59 PM CST May 1st.
- Do You Have an Erotic Adventure to Share? Deadline: May 31st, 2009.
- Spring Contest Time! Deadline: TBD?
- Ginger Leigh’s Fabulous Shopping Spree! Deadline: Friday, June 5, 2009
On to the reviews…
Editor’s Pick
- Smart Balls by Eliot Bodem
[P]lacing them as is shown in the little instruction booklet left me feeling that they were always in danger of falling out. But now that I think about it, I suppose that’s the point; you instinctively clench around the balls and that works the PC muscle.
Editor’s Note: I try to pick posts which are not only well-written but also which are somehow unique or unusual and make me desire to own the toy being reviewed. While I’ve seen many reviews of the Fun Factory Smart Balls I thoroughly enjoyed the sense of discovery in this review and it made me want to try them.
Vibrators
- LELO Liv by Mina Meow
- Pocket Rocket Jr. by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
- Hot Love by Sxychikadee
- Tantus Buzz 1 by Marla Singer
- Vibrating Bullet by Beautiful Dreamer
- The Cone by Ginger Leigh
- Sasi by Mina Meow
- Vibrating Rabbit by Beautiful Dreamer
- Chill Pill by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
- SinFive Vuali by Marla Singer
- Siena Symphony by Sleeping Dreamer
- LELO Liv by Holden
- Orchid G by Adriana
- Passion Wave Stimulator by The Countess
- Desire from Evolved by CarrieAnn
- Fun Factory Delight by Beautiful Dreamer
- Perfect Touch Mega Bullet by Dangerous Lilly
- Vibrating Mini-Bullet by Adriana
Dildos
- Fun Factory Share by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
- LELO Olga by Beautiful Dreamer
- Share by Domina Doll
- Silky by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
- Dai Do #3 by Bad Bad Girl
- Helix Rocket by Viviane’s Sex Carnival
- Blue Ripple with LED by Ang
- Fun Factory Curve by Catalina Loves
- Energie by Bad Bad Girl
Lube & etc.
- Sliquid Organics Natural Gel by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
- Love Balm by CarrieAnn
- ID Moments by Domina Doll
BDSM/Fetish
- Thigh and Wrist Harness by Thursday’s Child
- Under the Bed Restraints by Backseat Boohoo
- Bondage Tape by Domina Doll
- Nipple Tit Clamps with Bell by Ang
Adult Books
Adult Movies/Porn
- Jennifer Welles Big and Natural by J.D. Bauchery
- Seka Gets What She Wants by The Porn Librarian
- Karakuri Ninja Girl by FrzKey
- Barcelona Sex Project by Ansley Agnello
- New Romantix by Beautiful Dreamer
- Flawless by J.D. Bauchery
- Muscle and Cum by The Porn Librarian
- Nina Hartley’s Guide to Bondage Sex by Backseat Boohoo
Storage
Miscellaneous
- Sex Clean Toy Cleaner by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
- Packing Strap by Erin Leone
- G-Plus Massager Attachment by Shay
- Thigh Harness by Thursday’s Child
- Durex Avanti Condoms by Shasta Gibson
- Soft Pack by Carnivalesq
- Love Seat (for the Hitachi) by Bad Bad Girl
Sunday, 12 April 2009
Sadistic
My beautiful wife has, on several separate occasions, over the past few months called me sadistic. Just to be clear I looked up a few definitions. Chambers defines a sadist as “someone who indulges in sadism, or who gains pleasure, especially sexual, from inflicting pain on others.”
The Oxford English dictionary defines sadism as “the tendency to derive sexual gratification or general pleasure from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others.”
And from The Free Dictionary, sadism is; 1. The deriving of sexual gratification or the tendency to derive sexual gratification from inflicting pain or emotional abuse on others. 2. The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from cruelty. 3. Extreme cruelty.
This time last year I would have been hurt and upset at the suggestion that I would “gain pleasure” by “inflicting pain”. I would have strongly denied the very idea that I could be sexually aroused or gratified by causing “pain, suffering, or humiliation”. And being described as enjoying “extreme cruelty” would have horrified me. But now things are different, now I take her use of the word “sadistic” not as an insult but instead as something to be considered and pondered.
Am I sadistic? Does my clit purr at the thought of her weight across my lap and my cunt become slick with the lifting of her skirt? And does my cock grow harder and more impatient with each descent of my hand? I love to spank her, to cane her, to flog her, to suffer bravely the stinging in my hand as proof of her degrees of pain. I adore indulging myself in her hurt, bearing witness to her slow release of control with each slap or swing or whack.
Do I enjoy humiliation? Does it elevate my spirit to strip her, disrobe and bare her, exposing her intimately before my eyes? I long to see the faint flush of embarrassment spread over her naked body when I whisper sweet reminders of her predicament. I crave the forcing open of her legs and the delicious spectacle it uncovers. I covet her reaction to my unadulterated gaze as I examine, inspect and explore.
Am I cruel? Does denying and teasing make me smile without shame inside and out? I’m keen to bring her to the brink then stop or slap or both, to say “No” to her pleas as my mood dictates. I wish to torment her then torture her with my distorted desire, twisted whims and assorted instruments.
Do I inflict suffering? Do I ache to slide my grateful cock home where her warmth and love surround it? I worship her restrained and bound body as I fuck her, using the strength she gives me to fill her with solid, fervent strokes. And I yearn to see, feel, hear the pinnacle of her orgasm, then to pause for a split second before I fuck her harder because I can, want, need to use her for my own personal pleasure.
My sexual gratification is intensified, sharpened and magnified by her pain, her suffering and her humiliation; it emancipates the sexual monster that is me. I am cruel and savage, vicious and pitiless, bestial, unnatural, perverted. I am sadistic.
The Oxford English dictionary defines sadism as “the tendency to derive sexual gratification or general pleasure from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others.”
And from The Free Dictionary, sadism is; 1. The deriving of sexual gratification or the tendency to derive sexual gratification from inflicting pain or emotional abuse on others. 2. The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from cruelty. 3. Extreme cruelty.
This time last year I would have been hurt and upset at the suggestion that I would “gain pleasure” by “inflicting pain”. I would have strongly denied the very idea that I could be sexually aroused or gratified by causing “pain, suffering, or humiliation”. And being described as enjoying “extreme cruelty” would have horrified me. But now things are different, now I take her use of the word “sadistic” not as an insult but instead as something to be considered and pondered.
Am I sadistic? Does my clit purr at the thought of her weight across my lap and my cunt become slick with the lifting of her skirt? And does my cock grow harder and more impatient with each descent of my hand? I love to spank her, to cane her, to flog her, to suffer bravely the stinging in my hand as proof of her degrees of pain. I adore indulging myself in her hurt, bearing witness to her slow release of control with each slap or swing or whack.
Do I enjoy humiliation? Does it elevate my spirit to strip her, disrobe and bare her, exposing her intimately before my eyes? I long to see the faint flush of embarrassment spread over her naked body when I whisper sweet reminders of her predicament. I crave the forcing open of her legs and the delicious spectacle it uncovers. I covet her reaction to my unadulterated gaze as I examine, inspect and explore.
Am I cruel? Does denying and teasing make me smile without shame inside and out? I’m keen to bring her to the brink then stop or slap or both, to say “No” to her pleas as my mood dictates. I wish to torment her then torture her with my distorted desire, twisted whims and assorted instruments.
Do I inflict suffering? Do I ache to slide my grateful cock home where her warmth and love surround it? I worship her restrained and bound body as I fuck her, using the strength she gives me to fill her with solid, fervent strokes. And I yearn to see, feel, hear the pinnacle of her orgasm, then to pause for a split second before I fuck her harder because I can, want, need to use her for my own personal pleasure.
My sexual gratification is intensified, sharpened and magnified by her pain, her suffering and her humiliation; it emancipates the sexual monster that is me. I am cruel and savage, vicious and pitiless, bestial, unnatural, perverted. I am sadistic.
Friday, 10 April 2009
Meme
Five names you go by
My first name – being phased out
My middle name
H
Mam
And some other names my beautiful wife uses for me that I’m not going to reveal here (but I love them all)
Three things you are wearing right now
DM boots, combat trousers, tie
Three things you want very badly at the moment
More time alone at home with my wife
A compression vest
A sound proof bedroom
Two people who will probably fill this out
Pass
Two things you did last night
Had friends round and drank beer
Two things you ate today
Cheese and crackers
Two people you last talked to on the phone
My mother (thanks for phoning at 8.30 in the morning when we were away for the night and laying on a little guilt!)
My wife
Two things you are doing tomorrow
Enjoying time off work and enjoying time off work
Two longest car rides
The one from the garage where we got the car to home just after I passed my test (about 5 minutes but it was scary)
500 miles from Scotland to the South coast when we picked up our eldest from University and stopped for breakfast at THE best service station in the UK.
Two of your favourite beverages
Coffee and beer
My first name – being phased out
My middle name
H
Mam
And some other names my beautiful wife uses for me that I’m not going to reveal here (but I love them all)
Three things you are wearing right now
DM boots, combat trousers, tie
Three things you want very badly at the moment
More time alone at home with my wife
A compression vest
A sound proof bedroom
Two people who will probably fill this out
Pass
Two things you did last night
Had friends round and drank beer
Two things you ate today
Cheese and crackers
Two people you last talked to on the phone
My mother (thanks for phoning at 8.30 in the morning when we were away for the night and laying on a little guilt!)
My wife
Two things you are doing tomorrow
Enjoying time off work and enjoying time off work
Two longest car rides
The one from the garage where we got the car to home just after I passed my test (about 5 minutes but it was scary)
500 miles from Scotland to the South coast when we picked up our eldest from University and stopped for breakfast at THE best service station in the UK.
Two of your favourite beverages
Coffee and beer
Review - Liv
Babeland sent me the Liv vibrator by Lelo several weeks ago and it has been making regular, very successful appearances in the bedroom ever since. It arrived beautifully packaged complete with satin storage pouch and I just knew it was going to be a quality toy. If I had to choose one word to describe the Liv it would be stylish.
It’s made from silicone (so no silicone lube), is blue and white with a stainless steel band separating the “playing” end from the “control” end. The Liv is 4” x 3/4", not large but a good size and it has a lovely curve which is good for clitoral stimulation as well as insertion. The controls are simple, plus/minus for speed and up/down to change settings, they also light up so they are very easy to see.
It’s a rechargeable vibrator so the first thing to do is plug it in and wait, patiently, for it to charge. Once charged the Liv shows a steady light and will also prompt you to re-charge when the battery is running low with a red light. Great idea! The charger plugs in to the tip of the white end and the hole is covered by a neat tab once it’s charged. If you’re in the UK you will need an adaptor because it’s a two pin plug. Once charged it does last for a good while before needing a recharge and I really like the idea of no batteries.
There are five different vibration programs, continuous, 3 interval pulsations and a wave pulsation as well as the various speeds. None of the settings give out really intense vibrations but they are all very good and certainly stimulating in all the right ways. The Liv is also really quiet, which as ever is an absolute must for any vibrator in our house, loud, rattles are just too distracting.
I love this vibrator because it is so well designed, it looks good and feels good to both control and receive. It is certainly a welcome addition to my toy box and will continue to make regular trips out of the box and into the action.
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